AMANDA.
002
“Not giving a fuck. I'm not going to lie. I'm not giving a fuck. But in a good way, not in a bad way.”
Her tattoos tell their own story. Family, friendships, the good, the bad and everything in between. Once something she struggled to have because of a lifelong skin condition, they're now part of the person she feels most comfortable being.
Today, Amanda is back in the independent music scene, travelling between gigs and festivals, creating artwork and doing things entirely on her own terms.
And when we ask what happiness means to her, the answer is unmistakably Amanda.
“I'm just not that squashed version anymore. I'm not that caged pacing version anymore.”
Amanda isn't interested in love as a word people can hide behind. Growing up around relationships where bad behaviour was excused in the name of love, she came to believe that respect carries far more weight.
After years of trying to meet other people's expectations, Amanda walked away from her marriage and much of the life she'd built. From running businesses and raising a family to finding herself back in her childhood bedroom, starting again came at a price.
She speaks candidly about that difficult period, learning to be alone and questioning everything she'd been taught about relationships, happiness and putting herself first.
But somewhere along the way, something shifted. She stopped trying to become the person everyone expected and started making room for the person she'd always been.
“I actually fucking hate the word love.”
Her views on relationships are just as unconventional. After years of trying to meet other people's expectations, she's developed a pretty uncompromising opinion on love, respect and what it really means to care for someone.
“I don't think I figured out who I truly was until I was about 50.”
Growing up in a traditional Irish family in Birmingham, Amanda was never quite the good Catholic girl her parents had imagined. She found her place in punk, underground music and a community that embraced everything she felt she couldn't be at home.
From squat parties to a fiercely independent youth, Amanda wasn't particularly interested in following society's rules.
But life took a different turn.
Relationships, marriage, motherhood and years spent opening her home to children who needed one. Amanda built a life around caring for others, raising her own children alongside those she fostered, while navigating the expectations of family and society.
She loved being a mother. But somewhere between looking after everyone else and trying to live the life she thought she was supposed to, she'd lost sight of herself.
“I think some of us are just born not to conform to society's rules and regulations.”
At fourteen, Amanda got her first tattoo in Birmingham. A unicorn, hidden from her parents for almost a decade. By fifteen or sixteen, she says she was involved in a jewellery heist gang.
And that was just the beginning.
Artist. Foster mother. Punk rocker. Former kink-club hostess. Amanda has never followed the rules.
After a lifetime of being told who to be, Amanda has a different idea. No rules to follow. No one to impress. Just Amanda, exactly as she is.
Meet Amanda. The person behind the ink. Watch The Journal. Episode 002.